Thursday, February 10, 2011

Another Story without picture part 2

About 2 months ago I wrote about meeting a young man who needed my help.  We talked about art, philosophy, prejudice, and his jail time.  He would draw and I would help.

Thursday 8 AM. He talked, I listened.  In hindsight he traded  his time with a prison counselor for Starbucks and an artist.  I tried to help.  We set up times to meet, every week same time. 

Thursday 8 AM.  Alone, looking up every time someone walked too close to my table.  He never showed.  A text message stating he slept in, forgot.  Annoyed, I text back same time next week?  A sincere yes, sorry.  All is forgiven. 

Thursday 8 AM. I walk in the cold and all I can think is, he better show.  I don't have time for this.  I show and he doesn't.  A Phone call about meeting a lawyer about some priors.  I plead to an outside silence to give me peace of mind and not write people off.  My heart softens yet again, same time next week? 

Thursday 8 AM.  I get ready.  Clothes on, shower.  Ugh 7:30 AM.  Phone rings.  He's at another Starbucks, won't be meeting.  Wasn't sure if I'd show so he skipped.  I sit defeated.  Saying I think that's it.  A text shows 1 day later.  I take 3 days to answer it, going back and forth in my head.  I reply, same time next week?  He's happy again and I feel strung out by it all, but maybe it helps someone, doesn't have to be me this time.

Thursday 8 AM.  I sit alone once again this morning.  I draw crap.  Depressed.  Damn you for making me do this.  I text good luck, I cannot keep doing this.  I hope you find your path.  Stay good.  A text as I hang my head in shame on the walk home.  " I am I actually am on my way to Arcadia.  I have a mental health appointment."

As I sit I contemplate.  Was I supposed to do more?  Help how?  Am I even mentally prepared to help him with bigger problems than I have ever or will ever have? 

When do you say enough?
or
You are not my problem and I am not your solution.

should you ever?
I sit unsure. 


And I believe this is how my story ends.
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