About 2 months ago I wrote about meeting a young man who needed my help. We talked about art, philosophy, prejudice, and his jail time. He would draw and I would help.
Thursday 8 AM. He talked, I listened. In hindsight he traded his time with a prison counselor for Starbucks and an artist. I tried to help. We set up times to meet, every week same time.
Thursday 8 AM. Alone, looking up every time someone walked too close to my table. He never showed. A text message stating he slept in, forgot. Annoyed, I text back same time next week? A sincere yes, sorry. All is forgiven.
Thursday 8 AM. I walk in the cold and all I can think is, he better show. I don't have time for this. I show and he doesn't. A Phone call about meeting a lawyer about some priors. I plead to an outside silence to give me peace of mind and not write people off. My heart softens yet again, same time next week?
Thursday 8 AM. I get ready. Clothes on, shower. Ugh 7:30 AM. Phone rings. He's at another Starbucks, won't be meeting. Wasn't sure if I'd show so he skipped. I sit defeated. Saying I think that's it. A text shows 1 day later. I take 3 days to answer it, going back and forth in my head. I reply, same time next week? He's happy again and I feel strung out by it all, but maybe it helps someone, doesn't have to be me this time.
Thursday 8 AM. I sit alone once again this morning. I draw crap. Depressed. Damn you for making me do this. I text good luck, I cannot keep doing this. I hope you find your path. Stay good. A text as I hang my head in shame on the walk home. " I am I actually am on my way to Arcadia. I have a mental health appointment."
As I sit I contemplate. Was I supposed to do more? Help how? Am I even mentally prepared to help him with bigger problems than I have ever or will ever have?
When do you say enough?
or
You are not my problem and I am not your solution.
should you ever?
I sit unsure.
And I believe this is how my story ends.
Thursday 8 AM. He talked, I listened. In hindsight he traded his time with a prison counselor for Starbucks and an artist. I tried to help. We set up times to meet, every week same time.
Thursday 8 AM. Alone, looking up every time someone walked too close to my table. He never showed. A text message stating he slept in, forgot. Annoyed, I text back same time next week? A sincere yes, sorry. All is forgiven.
Thursday 8 AM. I walk in the cold and all I can think is, he better show. I don't have time for this. I show and he doesn't. A Phone call about meeting a lawyer about some priors. I plead to an outside silence to give me peace of mind and not write people off. My heart softens yet again, same time next week?
Thursday 8 AM. I get ready. Clothes on, shower. Ugh 7:30 AM. Phone rings. He's at another Starbucks, won't be meeting. Wasn't sure if I'd show so he skipped. I sit defeated. Saying I think that's it. A text shows 1 day later. I take 3 days to answer it, going back and forth in my head. I reply, same time next week? He's happy again and I feel strung out by it all, but maybe it helps someone, doesn't have to be me this time.
Thursday 8 AM. I sit alone once again this morning. I draw crap. Depressed. Damn you for making me do this. I text good luck, I cannot keep doing this. I hope you find your path. Stay good. A text as I hang my head in shame on the walk home. " I am I actually am on my way to Arcadia. I have a mental health appointment."
As I sit I contemplate. Was I supposed to do more? Help how? Am I even mentally prepared to help him with bigger problems than I have ever or will ever have?
When do you say enough?
or
You are not my problem and I am not your solution.
should you ever?
I sit unsure.
And I believe this is how my story ends.
4 comments:
sadly this is why people charge money for their services. Sucks that art and Money need to go hand in hand, but if you had said up front i will tutor you for xxx amount of dollars a week, that would have given him an out. Or he would pay, get there early, and be willing and motivated to soak up everything......
wisdom comes through experience and failure. Next time do a Fight Club..... make him stand outside your house for 3 days, no food or water to prove himself worthy!! :0)
I usually give 3 strikes and then that's it.
People always want something for free.
Time is the one thing we can never get back. You get major credit for giving it away in hopes of helping a total stranger. Your blog, at least for me, helps me over hurdels all the time. I usually keep to myself but felt as if you could use a well deserved THANKS!!!
IF you wer in the bay area i would be there early with your favorite coffee alredy ordered.
Arthur, Now I feel compelled to write back. Thank you. That's exactly what this was about. Helping others. No pursuit of personal gain. I have been given the unique opportunity to already get paid for what I love. And I love helping. Thanks Arthur.
Anon, I agree that everyone wants something for free, but sometimes free is good.
Kevin, nice, but I was just trying to help a guy out down on his luck. Asking for money from his position would never amount to anything. He asked for help, I helped the best I could. I get emails all the time form students. If we don't help each other who will?
Ciao
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